When I was growing up, I had a huge fascination with spirituality, in my religious beliefs as well as my collective consciousness beliefs.
I read, researched, attended masses all in the hopes of discovering the secrets of the universe. Ok, I was a very imaginative and curious child. I learned to pay attention to my world and with mindful attention, there were secrets to discover. I learned to allow those insights and hints from nature and the almighty to guide me pretty much wherever I needed to go. I put great faith in things happening for a reason and was willing to continue exploring how to make myself receptive to information most people ignore.
However, somewhere along the road, as I grew up, I became a skeptic. Sure, I knew that women’s intuition was spot-on at times and that the human brain can take in so much more information than we humans realize and are aware of. And I was certain that intuition could totally come from unseen brain processes. I let some of that mindfulness go in exchange for the work-a-day world’s necessary focus. I had responsibilities. I had to earn a living. I let go my exploration of “unexplained” phenomena. And life moved on.
One day last year, after driving my mom to the emergency room and helping her out of the car, she blurted out, “I had a premonition.” Immediately, I sighed and prepared myself for a recounting of one of her hallucinations. She said, “They put something in my neck,” and she rubbed her neck to show me where it was. I told her that her neck looked ok to me and that there was nothing there. And, we let the conversation go.
At the time, I didn’t know that would be the last ER visit she would have. We all thought it was only a simple infection that would clear up with antibiotics. But, while she was there, it was apparent that her breathing wasn’t very good. The doctors wanted to start her on IV fluids and antibiotics. They searched for a vein in her good arm and couldn’t find one. They tried many times. Finally, a doctor came over and together with her attending physician, decided to do an EJ. I’d never heard of that medical term before. So I stood back and watched as they put in an IV into her jugular vein.
It was much later in the evening that I remembered my mom’s words, “They put something in my neck.” She had indeed had a premonition in the car that morning. And what was even more amazing is that it had been so very accurate.
We brought her home the next day on hospice after subsequent tests discovered that the cancer had “bloomed” in her lungs and the immuno hadn’t worked after all.
That day, and her premonition has stayed in my mind. I think about it practically every day. It’s something she wanted to share with me. Something I’ve only shared with my family until today. I probably never would have posted about it in this blog if it hadn’t been for today’s Daily Prompt: Premonition.
Sometimes, life gives you a wake up call, a reminder that there is more than just what we can see. My mom’s premonition has renewed my faith in nature and the higher power that guides us. Since her death, the reminder of her premonition has helped me to begin to restore the knowledge I had as a child–that with careful, mindful attention to the guidance that life gives us we can be led to where we need to be. What we can gain from listening to those cues is priceless. But first we have to be willing to listen and then to hear.